You know that feeling when you’re scrolling through Instagram and every other post seems to be about self-care? Someone’s posting their fancy bath setup with carefully arranged rose petals, or showing off their new jade roller against pristine white sheets. Don’t get me wrong – those moments of peace can feel amazing. But lately I’ve been thinking about how self-care has become this beautified, simplified thing when really, it’s so much messier and more meaningful than that.
The “Pretty” Side of Self-Care vs. Reality
We’ve all been there – buying that expensive candle or face mask because we’re feeling down, convincing ourselves that this purchase will somehow make everything better. And hey, sometimes it does help! There’s nothing wrong with enjoying these little luxuries. But when we reduce self-care to just these Instagram-worthy moments, we’re missing the bigger picture of what it means to truly take care of ourselves.
The Uncomfortable Truth About Real Self-Care
Here’s what nobody posts about: real self-care often looks like staring at your phone for 20 minutes, working up the courage to make that doctor’s appointment you’ve been avoiding. It’s sitting with your thoughts instead of drowning them in online shopping. It’s having that awkward conversation with your roommate about their dishes in the sink, even though you’d rather just clean them yourself to avoid conflict.
What Actually Counts as Self-Care (Even If It Doesn’t Look Pretty)
Financial Self-Care
- Finally opening all those emails from your bank
- Creating a budget that actually reflects your life
- Canceling subscriptions you barely use but feel guilty about letting go
- Meeting with a financial advisor even though money talk makes you nervous
Emotional Self-Care
- Going to therapy (and doing the homework your therapist assigns)
- Setting boundaries with that friend who always drains your energy
- Learning to sit with uncomfortable emotions instead of immediately trying to fix them
- Unfollowing social media accounts that make you feel less-than
Physical Self-Care
- Getting your annual check-up (yes, including the dentist)
- Meal prepping when you’d rather order takeout again
- Going to bed at a reasonable hour even when Netflix is calling your name
- Moving your body in ways that feel good, not punishing
The Hard but Necessary Stuff
Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for yourself, in regard to self-care, is making those tough decisions that no amount of bubble baths can replace. Like ending a relationship that’s not serving you anymore, even though you’re scared of being alone. Or turning down a promotion that would look great on paper but would wreck your work-life balance. Or finally seeking help for that thing you’ve been dealing with alone for way too long.
Finding Balance: When Traditional Self-Care Has Its Place
Look, I’m not saying we should throw out all our bath bombs and face masks. Those moments of peaceful indulgence definitely have their place. Sometimes after a rough day, a hot bath and a good cry is exactly what you need. The key is recognizing that while these moments can help us reset, they’re not a substitute for the deeper work of taking care of ourselves.
Moving Forward: Building a Life That Needs Less Escaping
Maybe the ultimate form of self-care is creating a life that you don’t constantly need to recover from. It’s about making choices that might feel hard in the moment but leave you feeling proud of yourself later. It’s about treating yourself with the same kindness and respect you’d show a good friend. For more information and tips on preventing burnout, check out one of our previous blog posts.
So the next time you’re tempted to solve a bad day with a shopping spree or another “treat yourself” moment, pause and ask: What do I really need right now? Maybe it’s that face mask. Or maybe it’s finally making that therapy appointment, having that difficult conversation, or simply giving yourself permission to rest without feeling guilty about it.
Remember, true self-care isn’t always pretty, Instagram-worthy, or fun in the moment. But it’s these deeper, sometimes harder choices that really show we care about ourselves. And isn’t that what self-care was supposed to be about all along?
Your Turn to Reflect
What’s one form of real self-care you’ve been putting off? Maybe it’s time to show up for yourself in that way, even if (especially if) it feels a little uncomfortable. After all, loving yourself isn’t just about feeling good in the moment – it’s about doing what’s good for you in the long run. For more tips and advice, check out our Instagram page to follow along for more!
